Trust

Trust
So hard to earn
and so easy to lose.
Can you honestly
just keep giving it
to someone who has
broken the bond?
Unspoken when given,
yet a pain filled cry
when it lays bleeding
after being abused.
Sometimes damaged
beyond all hope of healing,
it's a hole left
in your heart
that leaves your life reeling,
unhappy and bereft
now always doubting;
what is the truth?
Who can you trust?

Hush

Sounds
that in their
regularity
lull us to sleep;
the croaking of frogs,
an orchestra of crickets,
wind through scattered leaves,
and the soft drumming of rain on the roof.
The perfect silence
of falling snow,
blanketing and muffling.
hush....
the swishing of a dishwasher,
the heat coming on with a click
and the flow of warm air.
Roll over, find that
perfect spot on your
old pillow,
and pull the covers up to your ears.
Hush.
Dreams tug
and you slip into
slumber.
Deep happy sigh,
followed by sleep,
lulling, slow
descent..
hush.

k

*oh...that is until the cat decides
that it is Not time for bed, 
not yet.

where?

what are we hoping to find?
searching far and wide.
Is it the elusive answer..where,
oh where is love?
it won't be found if actively looking,
it is wanted too badly,
and choices made like that
are the wrong ones.
When you let go
and stop looking
it will find you.
That is my belief.

Desperation and wanting make
for poor choices,
settling for the next
potential prince
 that scrap of hope ensnares,
 when he comes riding along.

I once gave up, or
thought I had.
Then it seemed a miracle
had found me.

But...inside there was still
that dream,
and that beginning filled with fake miracles,
 filled the need.
I thought it an answer to a prayer.
Instead a warped future
entangled me.
It twisted into a vision
of a dream come true,
but it was false, so false.
Wanting to believe
I tended that vision,
wiping away lies,
and pretending that falseness
was something I could conquer.

It is sad when we blind
ourselves out of need for love.
Wanting something badly enough to
wish it true,
even when it quickly becomes
apparent that it is not.

Truth, faith,
and belief in myself
were pushed aside
in fulfilling a false hope.

When it all fell apart
the pain engulfed me,
leaving little room
for anything else.

But time has numbed
and erased that open wound.
Learning to love myself again
was a battle I have won.

I sometimes sit and wonder
if that other person will ever
know the truth about themselves.
Just as guilty as I was, in their own
search, since they never stopped looking,
somehow still empty even while saying they were
content and in love.

It's been a while since I opened this door.
Perhaps now it can be locked and secured
never to be opened again,.

And still I have a kernel of hope,
waiting patiently in my heart,
but I am no longer looking.
Fate will or will not have it's day.

My neighbor wears Army boots

My neighbor wears army boots
23 hours a day,
his footsteps echo down to me;
As I stare at the ceiling where I lay.

Before I lived here
I thought the most annoying music was Rap,
but Bolivian folk music
has brought a change to that.

The stairs that go up
are directly behind my bed.
The door that slams shut
would probably wake the dead.

Without a doubt I think he has a
loss of hearing,
most of his conversations
I cannot keep from hearing.

His kitchen table, too big for the room,
has revolving chairs,
he moves each one seven times
as I look at the ceiling and glare.

He taps his boots in time to his
beat
I accompanied that with a kitchen
cabinet,
3 times closed nice and sweet.

I know it could be worse,
He must be 65 at least by a day.
I thank the Lord with all my heart
that he is not 23 with Metal music to play.

Frightful October night

Air crisp
Autumn leaves flavor the
frosty wind.
The moon sits high
bathing a half light
that build shadows
that bode sinister;
each tree, long fingers
reaching; beyond a
solid dark
that cloaks
mysterious, hiding
monsters and ghouls
that tickle
your fear
and make walking
feel like slow motion.
Breath steams
effort, imagination
explodes
seeing shadows that
move, and blur
into cold images of death,
reaching for you.
Paths once short
stretch long,
now panting,
to pass that which
frightens us;
in the distance
a wavering light,
home, and safe.
Will alone sustains,
almost running,
ragged breath, legs
pumping,
running to escape
what in darkness
pursues us.
Each step a lifetime,
the shadows at the edge
of the woods
ready to break free...
home in sight,
golden light that forces back
the dark.
Being followed, but
afraid to see what is following,
focused on the golden
light of home.
Hand that reaches for the
door knob,
twisting, turning,
rushing in
and shutting the door
on evil,
you stand..breathing hard
protected
and home
once more.

Autumn

Open your eyes'
You see Blue
impossibly, bright
glorious blue.

The sun
shines with such
bold light,
electric
astonishing hue.

Distant
reds, burnt orange
umber
trees on fire
in your view?

Fall taps
on your shoulder
saying
"Hey!"
"wake up!"
see me shine, see me.

Autumn explodes
it's colors
bold, it's sky brilliant
the end of summer in a punch
that beckons you
to open your eyes
And see.

Directions

Which way to turn?
down a small country road
that passes pastoral beauty
and makes you sigh just
because you can breathe deep
and hold a silly smile...
and feel wonder like a child?

Or that fast lane
that promises exhilarating
speed, pedal pushed steadily
down..feeling like a race car driver
a grin plastered to your face
and the wind making hair
tornadoes as it enters
your open window?

I would rather have to stop for
cows crossing the street,
then sit in traffic
because someone thought
they could break the sound barrier
and brought the world and themselves to a halt.

A slow and steady cruise
through life, not acting like a
passing fool, in a hurry to get nowhere.


My mother used to drive me mad
as a teenager..driving exactly the speed limit
and being passed constantly.
Her reply? " why hurry? They will
all be waiting at the traffic light
when I arrive."
And she was right, they were.
It has taken me a long time to
accept her advice on patience.

Impatience for the most part does
not pay off.
I will get where I need to go just
by doing the right thing and
steadily moving forward.

I'm not that interesting

Average...not overly talented or cutting edge...so what gives? Mobile safari android, and mobile safari I phone....what is the attraction? I'd really like to know.

One toe testing the waters

I will admit of late
I have pondered the question
of whom will I date?
A penance complete,
for wasted years,
I've paid for bad choices
in countless tears.
That slate wiped clean
one toe touching the unknown,
but a viable candidate
has yet to be seen.
You see my friend
I debate within,
who is that person
that will cause me to jump in:?
I know he is out there,
but how do I start?
With over protective
processes
that shield my heart.
Exaggerated analysis,
I study before I will take a chance;
I will no longer leap with hope
at the first heated
glance.


k

Decisions

I wonder times while doing my laundry
if anyone else is faced with a like quandary?
While mopping my floors my thoughts
running hither,
and scrubbing the tub, taking time to fret and dither.
Decisions, deliberately hang around
in my mind,
searching for answers
(sometimes wasting my time.)
Many, I believe, are brain wave pests,
counting to 10, I mutter " Give it a rest!
Away they float as I putter through chores,
just waiting to dodge back and pester me more.


~k

Honestly..is anyone else bombarded by the damn things??

Fat Cat on a Mat

I am posting a poem which I thoroughly enjoy, and it IS Not written by me...lol. Please read the poem in its entirety before scrolling down to see who the credited author is...I think you will be surprised!


~K

                                                               

The fat cat on the mat
 may seem to dream
of nice mice that suffice 
for him, or cream;
but he free, maybe
walks in thought
unbowed, proud, where loud
roared and fought
his kin, lean and slim,
or deep in den
in the East feasted on beasts
and tender men.


The giant lion with iron
claw in paw,
and huge ruthless tooth
in gory jaw;
the pard dark-starred,
fleet upon feet,
that oft soft from aloft
leaps upon his meat
where woods loom in gloom--
far now they be,
fierce and free,
and tamed is he;


but fat cat upon the mat
kept as a pet,
he does not forget.




















J.R.R.Tolkien
(1892-1973)

Haiku attempt #1

A strutting rooster
bandy legs swaggering walk
pecks but finds no food.

The Herd

Forward motion
without seeing what's ahead.
Blank stares
unaware.
Nose to nose
now startled.
Questioned
and their thoughts
have to be jump started.
You can hear them thinking
(rusty hinges creaking)
their mouths open,
and out comes....BAHHHH.,,,BAHHHH
Translated this means:
"Are you talking to me?"
Without words...they process
-Hey-I was walking, get out of my way.-
Regardless...
I am in the way.
Now...
think.
Without words I process
-idiot-

Layers of our lives

Layers, upon layers..
that are the story of each of us.
Revealed by peeling them away.
You find childhood memories..shaping us.
Young adulthood..who we think we will become, big plans.
Settling into life, rounding the bend to 30 something,
realizing the limits we have set with our choices.
Flowing into our 40's, feeling like
we missed something important..and trying to find it.
Climbing over 50, knowing the midlife crisis was
just a bunch of bullshit because we were afraid our youth
was gone, afraid we missed something.
Finally fitting into our lives, thinking about past
mistakes, and intent on enjoying the time we have.
Golden 60, knowing the fun retirement was a dream,
but appreciating what we have.
Senior 70's, our bodies are slowing down,but
our hearts are still full of dreams.

We spend so much time missing the point.
Every day is a miracle.
Every moment makes us who we are.
A life is built on moments that accumulate
into who we are, layer upon layer.


k

I don't miss you

I don't miss you..
because everything that you felt was wrong was blamed on me.

I don't miss you
because you looked at me with hate in your eyes at times.

I don't miss you
because no matter how hard I tried it was never enough.

I don't miss you,
because I can no longer be blamed
and I feel free.

I don't miss you
because no one in my life
can make me feel less....
I am the master of my fate.

I don't miss you
because after all that has past
I found myself again,
and I like me.

I don't miss you
because I will never again
have to worry why I was not enough...
for you.
I know that I am
 more than enough woman
to make myself
and a mature man
very happy.

I soar...above my past.
Wings spread
defying all.

On the grave of our relationship...
I do a dance of abandon...
hair flowing, back arched
stomping my feet.
 I smile because
you will never know this part
of me.
I whirl, and dance away.

The Bloody saga of the Claws

Love hurts, this I know
 because
I have a nervous cat
with very sharp claws.

Circling my lap
he suddenly bounds!
There must be a cat monster
who made a scary sound.

And so I sit bleeding
from multiple wounds,
asking what spooked him?
(in his mind, perhaps a large dog faced baboon.)

Wondering if I will ever be free
of the punctures and scratches
marked across both
of my knees.

When the weather is cold
I stand a better chance
of protecting my skin
with soft cozy pants.

The torture is worth it
when he does settle down,
and shares a gentle purr,
there is Love in that sound.

~k

Fallen Angel

Midnight eyes

So full of pain,

pools of a sorrow that

run so deep the

bottom cannot be found.                                                        

Hair of rubies,

like fresh blood,

that frames an ivory

face;

lips, mobile and trembling,

the loss of her smile

breaks your heart.

Angel,

bereft of wings,

a stray feather falls floating

towards the ground.

Her face lifted to the sky,

arms lifted

beseeching,

an answer to a question

that never comes.

Cast down.

Forgotten.

Unworthy.

Alone.

Small Miracles

Dawn...
slow awakening, pinks and blues;
bird song that whistles in the day.
Skies that open an amazing blue
with powder puff clouds,
warming as the the sun climbs higher.
Soaking in the sunlight,
plants feeding and growing,
daily bustle of life all around.
Evening, a slow decline to a fiery sunset,
dramatic close to draw
the curtains to purple twilight,
the gentle chorus of frogs and crickets.
Every day a small miracle
of life waking, living and sleeping once again.

This I am always grateful
to be bear witness to.

k

Bad Penny

Like a bad penny
memories of you keep popping up.
That penny, unluckily, is facing down.,
Whenever I think a day is going well
in it pops, out of the blue.
It's almost funny....
just how often you show up in an ordinary day.
 I gotta wonder why?
I'd scrub you out if I could.
Scour, cut,drive out.
I certainly do not wish to think about you
for any reason.
You are overrated in your own mind.
 There is nothing
worth an instant of my time.

I really need to make new ones.

Ride Out the Storm

Rolling clouds
pushed hard by the wind,
menacing, boiling and growing...
thunder rumbling as the
light show begins,
rapid fire.
It's coming..and in us some primal
fear awakens.
Concerned eyes watch the
sky
and moves us to seek shelter.
Mother Nature having a tantrum
of magnificent proportions.
No reprieve,
just ride out the storm.

k

Sweet Relief

Summertime ...
heat that wraps us in a wet hot blanket,
and leaves us longing for cool water.

 Lazy days spent soaking in sunshine.
Light that dances  like diamonds
with every wave and ripple on the water;
Sigh and roll over,
waiting for the moment
that calls us to jump in....
a SHOCK!
and then sweet relief...
gliding, floating to the top
watching the clouds above,
all sound muffled by the water.
A mermaid for a moment,
sweet relief from the heat.

k

Why in the World

Why in the world do "You" keep looking? I admit I am perplexed. 
(for the rest of you, thanks for coming, this is addressed to a particular
guest.)
My  longing and questions about You have thankfully
faded away.
Except, like now, when I can see that you visited, wondering
why, and for what reason You looked at my blogs today.
I have done my best to straighten out the mess
leftover from sharing my life with You;
You said "get over it", OK,now  I recommend
the same advice back  to You.

Move On.
You made Your choice,
Even if it is not what You expected.
Funny..time has had a way of revealing hard truths.
To both of us.

k

Just Lived

Karma cannot be controlled,
just lived.
My own state of affairs
has shown me this.
Gloating over another's misfortune
is not my way.
All I can do is sadly shake
my head and turn away.
Being that we are all human
it is a given that we will make mistakes.
We live with the ones that we have made,
making do the best that we can,
and try for sanity's sake to never repeat them.

Colorado

For Dad....

The mist caps the mountain,
a ghostly moving cloud that first  hides then
reveals pine trees clinging to the sides.
Flanked by granite as old as time,
jutting out like the craggy faces
of old men.
Dancing bright green Aspen signal
spring, while patches of snow still
dot the giant hillside.
Winter can still be felt in the icy
lakes that echo the sky, deep, blue and clear.
You could sit and just breathe
soaking in God's wonderful gifts
for hours.
Perched on a sun warmed rock with
nothing but the wind and a swift moving stream
to make a melody of nature...soothing..
relaxing..making you feel a part of
something much bigger than yourself.


k

Marry me Sugar daddy

**In my spam box..daily..there are emails like "Marry me Sugar Daddy" or" Marry a Millionaire". This is my response to the nonsense, other than deleting them that is...lol.

Is this web site for real?
I mean, could it possibly work?
Good grief!
Are there such gullible people out there?
Or just hopeful users wanting it to be true?
I kind of feel sorry for the sugar daddies
out there..the stalkers are aiming at them.
And..what person would not want someone
to love them...only to find out that they
want a meal ticket?
Any one..would naturally want
to be loved for who they are, and not for what they have.
This is possibly the silliest spam I have
ever received.
Really.
If this is what makes the world go round?
I'm jumping off.



Addendum 8-19-2015
And still it attracts attention. Ok, I take it back.. I sure would love a sugar daddy. But he must love verbal debate and discussion. He must love animals and disdain people who hunt for trophies. He must like cats.
He will have to have a great sense of humor, because I love to laugh. He must treat me like a lady, with respect, and it will be returned to the gentleman that he must be. Honesty, no mind games, no cheating. If he has all these qualities it would not take too long before affection grew between us.
His money? That would be a nice plus, but that would not make me fall for him. So the sugar in "Sugar Daddy" is just that..a sweet heart.

~Kel

Passage

We pass through life, from infancy to adulthood,
With pleasures, trials, failures and triumphs.
Each day, sometimes, a small battle
unto itself.
Win or fail,
it makes us who we are,
defines who we are within.

It is not the winning or losing
that is the core of our passage,
it is how we got there that matters.
Doing so with our honor intact,
makes us champions no matter the outcome.
To win with dishonor is not a win.

Despite the fear held within us all,
growing older is not something
that can be deterred, or detoured around.
Our passage from year to year
is a growing gem held within us, shaping us, and growing along
side our age.

When I reach the age of my grandmothers,
I want to look in the mirror and see
someone they would have been proud
to have known.
To stand before them someday
and be welcomed and loved for
who I am, and how I have lived.

Not what I have accomplished,
not what I have acquired,
instead how I treated those
who shared my journey with me.

My mirror image may not show
 beauty on the outside,
but it can show the life I have
lived with love in my heart,
and honesty in my soul.

~k

once a upon a time

Once upon a time my voice called out
to you
and you answered.
It was a cry of surrender,
giving up a search,
but not a failure,
because you answered.
A world of possibilities opened
with just a few words.
Because you answered.
But the call, and the answer
failed...because you let go.
Tumbling, falling,
finding the bottom,
I was alone again once more.
At the lowest point
I pulled myself up,
grabbing, scrambling
finding foot holds
until I could begin to climb once more.
My greatest sorrow...
that you let go.
My greatest triumph...
that I could still climb.

Thoughts

Wondering where you
are now?
Will we meet again?
Is it possible that you
think of me?
Laughing, and supposing
that I shall be tongue tied once again.
I am past the age of school
girl crushes,
but I can still feel my blush.
Slow smile spreading into a
full grin...
I will be watching for you,
and waiting with hope
that I might share again the warmth of your gaze.
and the secrets in your smile.

Possibilities

A smile.
A blush.
My heart beat a little faster.
Warm knowing eyes
watching the pink of my cheeks.
A short conversation
with interesting possibilities.
A glow that followed me
the rest of the day,
my grin firmly in place.
Hoping I will
blush again?
Oh yes.

My day

Quiet
peace filled beauty.
No hurry
no place I have to get to.
An occasional
inquiring meow...
a conversation ensues
in cat speak.
Fiddling, pondering
reviewing.
There is a cat shaped lump under my covers.
Chores pass quickly.
Another feline conversation..
'where is my dinner?'
Fresh breezes pass
through open windows,
bird sing about their day.
Dancing with ear buds
plugged in...
watchful green eyes
wondering 'what IS she doing now?'
Standing in front of the pantry...
what am I in the mood for tonight?
Wrapping up the day,
curled in a comfy chair
watching a favorite old movie.
Slow decent into dream time.
Tomorrow is waiting.

A friend

Someone who can make you laugh out loud
at the silliest of things, and be just as goofy as you,
no matter your age.
There never are any biting words or disdainful remarks if
you are not practically perfect.
Watching a movie? Both thinking the same thing
and talking about it without a "Shhh!"
Someone who has a strong shoulder to cry on and wonderfully
wise words when you really need them.
Who can even make chores seem fun...
Who you hate to say goodbye to,
but look forward to saying hello as soon as you can.
A best friend seems like the other half of your smile.

kel

Funny

I had this one up for about 12 hours and then took it down. It seemed silly to play into
his snide little game. Today I changed my mind.  This is my take on the remarks he made regarding my blog on finally letting go. And no..I never  have visited to read it. I am quite sincere in saying that I have not visited your self congratulatory blog since the one  you posted that everybody jumped in on, followed by your wonderful new life entry.  You got what you wanted, and I personally don't care what you do or say anymore, you no longer a part of my life.  Since you keep reading my blogs, I guess the same cannot be said of you. Seems you are waiting for a response.. so here it is.


I find it funny how outraged you seemed after
getting what you have wanted since last year.
(I  do not ever visit your page, this was relayed to me.)

Did you not want me to dissolve my feelings?
Was it not yours and her cry for me to let go?
Move on?

I have done so, and now you cry foul.
Now you name call.
This is what you supposedly wanted me to do...

So I now  view this differently.
You got something from my pain.
You wanted me to suffer longer.
You are disappointed to no longer feed off me wailing and crying for you.
Sorry..not going to happen anymore..

You have one very weird-ass ego.

I do not want you back.
In my opinion, you gave away good for bad,
no matter how much you shout otherwise.
You are cycling backwards.
Returning to what was with someone new.

That is not my problem any longer.
For all your posturing...and crying "Old??!"
Good luck with that.

Time does not stop for anyone.
It is a self deception to think that
you are a youngster, or gaining that with someone else
younger than me.
Wish away..pretend all you want.

Funny.
To me you always seemed older,
In your body, your heart, and
in your soul...
I don't think that has changed simply because you
changed partners.

Self deception...
You got it.
A vampire ego?
Feeding off pain,
You got that too.

Just in case you have
a problem noticing,
I am not your other ex.

I am not going to chase after you
as she has done for the past 10 years

Wanting all that trouble back?
So not my thing.
.
You got it and you can keep it.
I'm finished with fighting battles
over someone so very undeserving.

In my heart I know that "I"
am worth more than what
you traded me for.
For that matter,
I am worth a million times more than
the other loosely called women
you chased before her while you
were with me.

You can "Blather" all you want as well.

AS for name calling:
 You--already arthritic, soon to be prostate challenged,
always in a mid-life crisis, so without honor, momentarily disabled cheater...you.
If I had a pie I'd throw that too.

I think I put that quite well,
K

Spring awakening

Forest covered hills, the trees blurring into a soft
brown haze, now hold hints of green.
Skies the soft pale blue of springtime;
the sun much warmer each day.
Happy trumpet faces of bright golden
daffodils sway and sing in the soft breezes.
Where ever you gaze there is a promise,
the renewal and lightness of spring.
Color and life slowly waking,
being reborn, and sharing the joy.

K~*

Free

Free.
Eyes closed, spinning with arms open to
the sky, head tilted back.
Giddy silliness, the world gone topsy turvy
when I peek open to see, it whirls around
like drunken foolishness.
The moon never shone so bright,
nor the sun's glow seemed so beautiful, each ray
escaping through clouds, strikingly golden
an arrow of light reaching the earth..
Refreshed, smiling, the wind ghosts my hair
into abstract art, strands lifting with a life of their own,
but I don't mind.
Breathing deeply, refreshed, with a loud
sigh, slipping through my smile.
The bars are bent back, I have escaped my
past...Welcome to
Free.

k

Not a Number

I am not a number.
I won't be defined by the year I was born.
People should not be lumped
into an 'over the hill.' box because a calender says so.
Perhaps the climb has just begun?
Maybe the best days are yet ahead?
(in my case that must certainly apply.)
Youth worshiping media,
don't wrap me in an afghan and hand me
geritol.
I won't give up till God says it is time.
Until then, I am young.
My heart tells me so.
I work hard. I love life. I am healthy,
not at death's door.
I've known people younger in years that are older
than me, in heart and body, and soul.
If you think in numbers, then you will be the calender watcher.
I am not a number.
Maybe you are.

Living without love

Time has past,
Wounds have been mended.
Wistful Memories are all that is left.
Dreams I  thought shared,
are now dust bunnies in the corners of my heart.
My life began anew.
Crept from the shadows of what was,
it was a slow climb, time spent pushing myself;
laborious brushing away of pain,
pushing hurt and the
bad memories away.
No longer tight rope walking on the edge,
I am well past the struggle that was.
Never would have thought
to be starting again, but here I am.
Not looking to replace,
some things still cannot be pushed aside.
I would be foolish to jump in again,
a trigger response soon regretted.
For the Love that I believed was forever,
was only temporary on the other side.
There is really not
a need to fill in the blank that was left.
I had my shot at a forever love,
and it disappeared in a heart beat.
Now there is just me.
Living.
I've remembered how to laugh again.
Not  searching for love.
Not something to be forced,
it will happen or it won't.
I can live with that.

k

Leap of Faith

Love is a leap
of faith,
will you plunge through
the air?
Or will arms be there to catch you?
Eyes closed..wind blowing
your hair back, the feeling
of falling, wind whistling
as you tumble in mid air..
faith...is in the arms that reach
to pull you to safety.
That is love returned...
a rescue;
but that first step is a doozy.

just thoughts,
k

Karma

Mystical
and
Eventual,
Rendering
of
Justice.


Karma.

For those that
need a Biblical reference...
as you sow, so shall you reap.

I don't get it

I admit to being confused
on your repeated 'popping in for a visit' views.
Wondering what it is you seek,
when you pop in here to take a peek?
By now it is obvious that I'll do no harm,
your false words to her spread needless alarm.
I was never the black hat, the real evil doer,
no matter what untruths you shared with her.
The only thing of which I was wrong,
was loving you, despite it all, for so very long.
I was guilty of nothing, except unrelenting hope,
that you would wake up, and not be such a dope.
I had faith, but I was alone in that respect,
for you had none in me, and that is a fact.

k

**See the comments for further clarification.
It's kind of strange that you read my poetry and
not my other blog. But then, you are not often mentioned
there anymore.**

5th gear

Nothing new here..
(turns pockets out to show them empty.)
Not sure what you are looking for...
I've changed direction, gone a different route.
You can digress and review messages
that have past,
but you will not find me there.
I have gone on ahead, without
old passengers and hitch-hikers.
No longer idling my engine,
I've shifted gear, gaining
speed, moving  far from what was;
looking forward to what lies
over the horizon.
Pushed it  into 5th gear, smoothly flying
further away.

k

Mirror, Mirror..

Reflection on a still silver glaze
shining back the image of a beautiful face.
The 'princess' picture fades away
as she opens her mouth with blasphemies
to say.
Pouting, shrieking, temper of a shrew,
her noise places her age around two.
Beauty that resides only on her skin
blinds some men to the ugliness within.
Women who behave like children I fear,
push the cause for equality back a
hundred years.

k~*

--and yes, I see this type of behavior
from the 'beautiful' or 'pretty' ones
quite often. They believe that their
faces or figures should buy them
anything they want. All they have
to do is pout like a child, or have a
hissy fit to get their way. Is it really worth
it? (directed to men) To have someone on
your arm that makes you feel like you have
won a prize? What about when she makes you
cringe in anger or embarrassment
when trying to get her way?
Someday that beauty will fade and all that is
left will be....the part that makes you cringe.

Poser

Coming cloaked as a friendly visitor,
Ulterior motives unknown.
Saying one thing
and meaning another.
Weird self-gratification,
that is frankly disturbing.
False smiles, fake praise,
for your own twisted reason.
Not really welcome here anymore.
 You are Better off hanging out with
colorful fictional characters.
I can do well enough without your
unwanted and unneeded head games.
Suspected, but I had hoped I was wrong,
still as warped as ever.
k

Decisions

Decisions...
sometimes they reward us in ways
we never expect them to.
sometimes they come back to
bite us in the ass.
Usually hard to make,
definitely hard to break.
Funny when they take us,
to places we never thought we would be.

k

Open thoughts

I'm wondering...
If people truly projected what it is
they are thinking,
just imagine how many poor choices
could be avoided.
It is the mask that deceives.
Words of total honesty, though sometimes painful
would change our direction,
and plot a different course
in our lives.

**Please note, this poem was NOT directed at any particular person. I was merely making an observation about people in general. You can gaze into any friend, loved one or strangers eyes and you will never know how their brain actually works, what they are honestly thinking. My observation was that if you could eliminate the guess work it would be like opening a window, a revelation. On the other hand, some thoughts would be better left unsaid, especially the ones that hurt someone.

Sorry, my mind was on overdrive I guess..maybe I think too much, lol.
k

Moving On

Quiet here in my small abode,
perhaps the calm before the icy winds.
Time to think, time to rest,
to recharge before the work week begins.

Addressed to one who fails
to understand,
my request was for
peace to come to us both.

For me to move on
your small hits have to end.
This does not mean I cannot
ask a simple question.

There was nothing personal
in my note,
just a return of one small item.
Not too much to ask of you.

I wonder if you are angry,
because it's clear now that I was not
there to take, but to give.
To help not just me, but us, have a better way to live.

I know now that staying
would have broken my heart over and over again.
Real change would never have happened,
you could not be my constant lover or a best friend.

I understand your cruelty
though I wish it did not have to be.
You knew you'd never change
and that alone would have meant more damage to me.

The anniversary of our death has come and gone,
and I have passed needing you anymore.
You are quite safe to play your role
behind someone else's door.

Peace,
k

PS: This is what you wanted, right? Me no longer hanging on...your wish of the
past year has been granted..all it took was some time for me to distance myself
from our past.

Just go away

You don't love me,
You never did love me,
So please just go away.

Why linger around
dredging up feelings,
making me linger on yesterday?

If you let me be, I might
surprise you,
And write only about what is to be.

Leave the past behind,
work on my present;
and never again remember
there ever was a you and me.

k

My Simple Life (on both blogs)

As it seems even distancing myself from the blogs
has had no effect, I am entering this note
in response.

r-- You  Just cannot stay away. I see your hits.

Is this the little boy in you
that pokes wounded animals with a stick?
What do you think I am going to say anyway?
 What great mystery unveiled?
What sort of statement would  I make here that "really" concerns you?
Why come by to rubberneck when I do not matter?

 I have a simple life...that is what you left me.... (Me and the whopping bill from the IRS.)
I don't go out, I cannot afford to. I pay only what I can afford, the basic bills, which sometimes
leaves me about $20,(if that) in the bank before payday.
 I don't believe I want to even think of setting myself up for more hurt
by starting any new relationship, that would be very unfair to whomever they might be.
And as I've come to realize that I am unlucky at love,
avoiding it seems a good idea.

 I wonder..I thought I was helping us, instead I was just helping you. I wonder if you feel any guilt, or just celebration?  If I had never helped you, I would not owe them a dime right now.
And where would you be? That's a good question.
 You sat there and let it happen, knowing in your heart you would not stand beside me.
 That I was just a way to get back to where you wanted to go,
and you killed time waiting to make me disappear.
Where is your guilt? Where is your conscience?

Oh! That's right...I stole from you...by paying bills we incurred together.
I am such a thief.
That's probably why you keep dropping by.

k

Taking Some time away

I'm taking some time away,
Until I figure just what I really want to say.


I am taking a sabbatical from the blogs for a while. I am not sure of what the time frame will be. I'd like to turn things around here and I am not sure how to do it just yet. I am not leaving because of someone else's wishes, this is my choice to take a breather. I intend to write the old fashioned way (on paper, with a pen! LOL!) until I am ready to come back.
For any real fans of my blog out there, I do appreciate your visits, and I shall return.

Hugs,
K

***17 times in one week? Lord, you really are a Super Goober. Have fun with that.***

Someday My Prince will come

If Someday my Prince will come,
it will be on a noble charger. (but definitely not a Dodge)
I will find someone to love, and he will find like in kind.
His gaze will stir embers back to life
long believed buried.
His smile will be a journey of discovery,
and His arms a safe haven.
 Our dreams a journey to be shared...
If someday my prince should come.

k

Yes, You.

After re-reading some older correspondence from You,
I really gotta wonder...
why??!
You were quite clear that YOU have no interest in what happens
to Me.
YOU, hold No guilt because of your own actions.
YOU have no desire or fear of Me being still apart of your life.
If that is true, then YOU should have no problem
in being able to stop following
my blogs.
The End,
you stupid twit.
Yes, You.


For further enlightenment read Simply a Life, "Strange as it seems."
k

Why follow?

Why do you follow, when you no longer care?
What need is fulfilled by looking over your shoulder at me?
Are you waiting for absolution?

Or a line that I write that will substantiate your decisions?
It's not there, and it will not be found
in words strung together on my pages.

It is obvious to me that my subconscious
is holding on tightly..even if my conscious thoughts
say otherwise.
I am still looking for a way to make it stop
bringing you back to my dreams.
I hope to someday succeed.

But...I do not go looking for you.
I don't ask my mind to go on replay,
it seems to do that on it's own.

So..is it morbid curiosity or guilt
that keeps bringing you back?
Why follow? Your path is in a different direction,
your choices have already long been made.

k

Loving Someone

Why do we love, or chose not to love?
What draws us and keeps us enthralled?
Is it the way their smile touches our heart?
Is it a special look in their eyes that is meant just for you?
Or is it instead, that same look, same smile that
still after time makes our hearts do a flip, and an
answering smile touches our lips?

Is it the very core of anothers beliefs, their strength,
their integrity, their honor...
their ability to share the dreams of one and make it a dream
shared by two?
To be part of a pair in which each lifts the other up,
to become more, and never found unworthy,
or purposely abandoned.;
never taking without giving back.

There is a magic that occurs when it is meant to be...
it cannot be forced, it just happens.

That is what I wait for...
the chance to once again love another
and share lives no longer lonely,
but as a couple;
 loving someone who stands beside you, no matter what,
and who would not leave out of weakness
or fear.
Because in loving each other you give
each other strength and also the knowledge
that they will always be there to love you,
stand by you.
And Love, is really all you need.
(The Beatle's had it right.)

k