The Key

The journey has  often been rocky,
each step pain filled in it's own way;
pushing forward,
nimbly tip toeing
around the sharp edges
and dark empty spaces.

Years spent searching
for something all along
 buried within me...
needing a key
I already had.

Flitting through memories,
stopping to dwell on
the ones that shine the brightest;
skirting around those that
hurt the most.

Finally accepting
the strength I hold
in myself.
Accepting challenges,
sometimes winning
and sometimes not.

There is no other
that can hold that key,
only me.
I unlock or bar what
I wish to face or not.

Full circle back to
the girl-woman I once was,
only wiser and well traveled
through my life.
I can and do complete myself,
For it is my choice
and my key.

~K~

The Cricket's Chorus

I only write when I am inspired, and unfortunately, it's often at times when I am not able to jot anything down, like on my way to work. I tried to keep this one rolling around in my head through out my day to not lose it.
~k


Heyday of Summer

has come and gone,
sad echos reside
in the Cricket's song.

Once a mighty chorus
that played day and night,
a concerto of Summer
"The Cricket's Flight."

Days wane towards Autumn,
Summer green growing faint;
flowers past their prime,
leaves waiting golden paint.

One lonely cricket,
without accompaniment,
fiddles his sad song
"Summer's End", a lament.

Nights grow cooler,
Summer's songs slowly die;
soft last serenade,
he plays to night's starry sky.

Hamster on a Wheel

Steady walk
moving forward
and watching the wheel.
It keeps spinning'
but does not jump off the track.
Stepping off for sips of water
and munching food
only to return to the wheel.
No matter how fast,
no matter how determined,
the wheel stays in it's place,
and so do I.

K~*


~~Why ? Because sometimes I feel like we are forced by life decisions
to make choices that consign us to a single place in the world we live
in. Sometimes those choices give us options, and sometimes those choices
take away our options.  Without precognition we are gambling with our
lives to take that step the right way, never knowing if it was a good choice
or a bad one until it all falls into place. I guess it is all a game of chance,
or the spinning of a wheel.  If I remember correctly, one of the Hags of Fate
sat at a spinning wheel or a loom and the thread fell where it would.
If the thread had fallen into a different space, perhaps things would have
turned out quite differently.

Out of Ignorance

** Story behind this work...a foul mouthed non-stop rant from a guest I hope never again returns for a second performance.**

A foul mouthed,
vile tempered
spewer of such limited means.

His litany of perhaps
five or six words,
twisted upon each other
in his attempt
to sound original.

It speaks sadly
for his age
that inside he is that
name calling bully from
grade school.

I was tempted to
chant the mantra
taught by my mother...
"sticks and stones
may break my bones,
but names will never hurt me."

But better not to
join him on that
sub level of
human non-achievement.

How proud his parents
must be
of this potty mouthed
person who pretends
adulthood.

I fear he might reproduce,
and what a terrible gift
to the world
that would be.

*Thus ends my rant...since I had to keep my thoughts to myself during his
unending and sadly ridiculous attempt to belittle people who were just
doing their job. *

It's not always easy to stand and say nothing impolite in return.

Garden in the rain

Silver drops
that grace
a flower's beautiful face;
a sleepy green
that wakes into
a glistening jungle;
grace filled  garden
that dances in the rain.

I May not...

I may not be perfect...But I am happy with who I am.
I may not have the best job in the world...
but I'm happy doing it..
I may not live in a huge palace.
but I'm happy with my home.
I may not have someone special in my life,
but, really, I am happy being by myself.
.
For those who judge me
screw you..I AM who I AM.
Even if I do not do cheer leader rah's,
(personally I have found cheerleaders to be
superficial and shallow.)
Don't form an opinion of me,
You do not know me..
I am a happy person,
believe me, I would know if I wasn't.

Despite preconceived notions,
not everyone wears a constant smile.
In my opinion that would be the height
of idiocy. Grinning with no reason.
I am a happy.

If my being sarcastic causes
you to believe otherwise?
I just want to let you know...
your opinion is not one that matters to me.

**This is a response to anyone who wants to 'label' me.**

Brain on TILT

There are times when I decline
the erroneous travels of my mind.
Why it goes places I'd rather not be
shall always remain a mystery to me.

It meanders sometimes weirdly wild
to adventures and thoughts I had as a child.
But the worse visits are forays
into the mess as an adult I made.

What stupid button did I press
to lead me back to that giant mess?
Those memories, those dreams, that life has killed,
Please call a technician, my brains on Tilt.

Phoenix

Two years have passed
that melted away my ties to the past.
Day by day,
in very small ways,
I erase those years,
that death filled with tears.
A Phoenix who rises out
of turmoil and doubt,
burning away the chains
of lie filled remains
that once bound me
to believe in one who deceived.
The heavens above
know the truth about love,
blowing away the darkness
with a sun filled caress.
No longer blinded,
I am often reminded
the error of my ways
each and every day.
With a wry smile
and a mental swat at myself
memories put away
in a place far from the light of day.
Buried deep and soon replaced,
they sink and crumble till there is no trace.
Light, golden and embracing,
till there is only tomorrow that needs facing.
So now I leap and fly
a golden shadow against the sky.

Someday...maybe

Someday..maybe
I will dance with
strong arms
that encircle
me with magic
as we spin around the floor.

Someday..maybe
I will watch the
sun rise
and share a smile
with the one who watches
with me.

Someday...maybe
I will sit with
the wind blowing my
hair and glance over
at the driver who
smiles and laughs
at my joy.

Someday...maybe
I will lie in his arms
and we will both
sigh, fully content
and searching no more.

Someday..maybe
I will once more
breath the words
'I love you'
and no longer have
 questions,
no doubts.

Someday..maybe
is place that holds
 a tender treasure,
a heart
which is mine to give.

Someday....maybe.

Pothole

Traveling along,
radio playing
singing along
no one can hear
the happy noises I am making.

Horizon's promising
a glorious day
God's finger tips
breaking the clouds
and touching the earth,
rays of brightness
that break through
darker clouds,
bursts of light
that transform
gloomy to
Magnificent.

Oblivious
to the darkness,
seeing only
the grace
laying before me.

Suddenly
my car dips
into a hole that
was hidden behind
the light.

Slamming hard,
loudly exclaiming
curses!
and trying to hold
the wheel steady.

My momentum
decreasing rapidly
as the damage from
that unseen
pothole
makes itself known.

Rolling over to the
side,
car limping
anguish over the damage
already churning
in my gut.

Finally
coming to a stop.
Sitting behind the wheel
dazed, unable
to move out
to view how bad it might be.

Wishing
that I did not have
to open that door.
Wishing that I had
sailed over or past
that hole.

Head goes back;
I stare at the inside roof.,
then close my eyes.
Wondering if
I want to know
just how bad it is.
Delaying the
truth
for just a little while
longer.

Mistakes

What can we say about our past
but that we cannot repeat it?

We move forward
but are sometimes overwhelmed
by memories.

Hindsight, being what it is,
a great view into
what should have been,
fixes nothing.

If only we had that ability
to snatch back mistakes
before we commit them.

Then the "what if's" would disappear
and all mistakes
would never happen.

Supposing, is the ear worm,
the wish to correct our mistakes
before they happen;
it keeps repeating
at different times in our heads.

Fond memories are cherished.
But the ones that cause the "if's"
are a persistent mental bugger,
that pop up occasionally
causing toss and turns at night.

I wish my mind would not
wander there, that black void
of mistakes that  I wish I could
take back.

It is so frustrating to know
my own mistakes
placed me where I am
today.

Apologies to time
won't rectify
what went wrong.

The Ol' Gray fart

For old times sake....I felt semi-inspired.

Singing..."The ol' gray fart
he ain't what he used to be,
ain't what he used to be..."

well..hmm..maybe that is not true.
Some people never change.
They just change partners.

'Wondering if he has
already cheated and
lied about it?'
( taps fingers and thinks)
The magic eight ball says 'Most likely'
Wonder if ' Mommy' even has a clue
about how you do the things you do.

Oh well...hey!
You are getting older too!
HA!
oops....sorry..that just burst out.

Singing again..
"The Ol' gray fart he ain't what
he used to be....well. I take that back,
one part still is, minute and in control.

A very Happy Un-birthday to you.

In 5 more years you just might be worth talking to...might.

To someone anyway.
Whomever that person may be.

Maybe Number 4???? ( does a cheer leader jump!
rah rah..and all that stuff.)

You go!  Hugh Hefner.

I would not be surprised one whit.
Your ego makes up for your....

I Could make a rhyme with that...
but that phrase has already been taken
by a previous partner.

Happy B-Day...
to the mighty betrayer.

The New Year

Putting a toe
over the line,
a tentative launch
into the New Year.

A quick glimpse
to the left and right,
making sure the coast is clear,
and lifting the other foot
a small step forward.

Grin spreading
(a devil may care smirk even)
widening into a full blast
smile, tilting my chin up in defiant joy!
Knowing I can choose to be more
and succeeding.

Now my body in motion,
forward momentum, arms
swinging, knees pumping
from a small step into a sprint.

The future is just over that
horizon,
waiting to share it's days
of laughter,
it's moments of triumph,
the small treasures
that make a happy life.

Watch me stride!
Now laughing with tears,
Now ready and still
stubborn as hell,
I go forth into the New Year
welcoming the days ahead.

k
'Happy 2013 to All!'