Not a good day

Trapped
that ol' black hole has swallowed me. 
It's been a while, and I do not welcome it back.

Decisions
made with best intentions that turned out wrong.
Wish I could stop doing that.

Self pity
oh yeah, I hate it, but sometimes it's hard to get rid of.
I cannot wait 20 years to fix this.

Direction
really not sure which way to go, the prognosis is not clear.
Only certainty is that it cannot remain static.

Day dreams
only make it worse, imagining wonderful times to be had.
Then I wake up and reality just is not cutting it anymore.

Too

*Sometimes in retrospect we can see how we failed ourselves.*

I was too desperate to have someone who could make me laugh 
and love again.

I was too needy to spot a con when it was right in my face.

I was too lonely to ponder self doubt.

I wanted it too much.

I ignored my inner voice because I wanted love.

I forgave, because it seemed the right thing to do.

Too many lies destroyed my trust.

I suffered because of this.

Today I am happy with myself.

Tomorrow someone will have to prove
that they are  "too good" for me to push away. 

I am so much wiser than I was.

So tell me that you too rare to ignore.

And I will think about it.

Show me...and mean it..and I will decide if you are...

Too much to be true..or I will believe.

~K